well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
