Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
