im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
