K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
