its not stalking. its research.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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