so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
