i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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