I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
