Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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