Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
