I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
