It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize