She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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