if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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