Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
