I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Someone shattered a urinal.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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