We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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