Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
There's even glitter on my cock...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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