worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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