So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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