I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
