Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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