I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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