I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
