This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
