We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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