SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
