Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
