There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
