Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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