so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
