it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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