fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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