if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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