I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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