you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
