For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
