he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
