Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
