the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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