OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
