Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
