I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
