I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
