i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
