ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
