its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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