his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
