Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
