I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
