I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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