What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Randomize
