hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
