Someone shit on the floor
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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