i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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