apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
