She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
