My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
