I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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