So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
