Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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