Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
