Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
