your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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