is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize