I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize